Travels | Conservatory x Zoo

I always feel like I don't get out and get good use of my camera so I decided to go to the conservatory and take some photos and the zoo was so close I just stopped by for a little since I hadn't been since I was in grade school. I had a good day out taking photos. I'm no photographer but it is one of those things I enjoy doing for fun. 

Best to you all,

Rebecca J.

Childhood Interest

When we were all kids, we are told that we can do anything and be anything but as some of us get older, we interpret that as being less and less of a reality. Some groups more others are often told that achieving your desire's is nothing more than a fairy tale. By high-school, we are told we can "make it" by going to college and picking a career, something safe but how safe is the job market today? We barely have time to think about what path we want to take before we are forced to choose. My take is that we change this system and we force school systems to have a class on careers.

What I realize by reading the stories of young creatives and my own personal experience is that more often than not, most of us return to the things we loved when we were younger in some form. Personally, when I was younger I loved to write. I wrote essays in contest. I wrote fictional stories for fun and kept a secret journal of poetry and yet I use my blog as a writing outlet. Writing on my blog has helped me get through so much in the last few years. Even though, I don't post as often as I should, I love writing. 

I let things like judgement from my peers and from family interfere with my love of writing. I know that I'm no pro. I didn't study writing in college but it is something I hold dear to myself. I'm a little awkward in real life and stutter sometimes so I love writing. I have the time to get my thoughts out as clearly as I can and in my own timing. If you're struggling to find what you're interested in, I suggest you return to the things you loved when you were young. You don't know where things will take you. 

Travels: Dr. Seuss Museum & Things

A couple weeks ago I visited the Dr. Seuss museum in Chicago and just decided to wander around so I ended up at the visiting the Chicago Cultural Center for the first time. I was in such a sucky mood and I was trying to get my mind off things. Sometimes, going out by yourself and going places is really comforting. 

 

The photos below are from the Chicago Cultural Center whom was hosting an exhibit for Jazz age painter Archibald Motley. I really liked his use of color and his way of incorporating music in his pieces. They were beautiful to say the least. 

A little Sidenote I bought a new camera recently and I hope you all like the photo quality better.

Keep learning, Keep Growing:)

R.J. 

Are You Being Grateful?

Being grateful is such an important part in gaining access to more of what makes you happy. Often in our culture we remember to be grateful sometime around November and even though being grateful at some time is better than never, we must learn to be constantly grateful. Looking over the fence at what someone has in envy, doesn't help your situation. Say thank you for what you have then and go after what you want and you'll find yourself getting what it is you've been desiring. I plan to make a thankful board and a vision board so that I remember how much I have already and not to forget my desires. I encourage you all to do the same so we all see positive things manifest in our lives.

Cheers,

R.J. 

My College Story

This past December a major event in my life took place, I graduated from my university. I posted my graduation pictures in celebration of my accomplishment and had received congrats from friends and family alike. My graduation from college serves as much more than academic achievement, it serves as a life experience. I went through a lot including a death in my family, financial issues and depression. My first year in college a very close family member of mine passed away. I never experienced a death of a loved one and was naive to how the world worked and moved on in spite of your sadness. I was depressed during my first year and didn't know how to handle it. I had made up in my mind that I was going to withdraw from school in the middle of my second semester. I hadn't talked to anyone except my English professor I was talking to her about my grade in the course. I stopped turning in adequate work and I went to my professor to talk about my grade and I kind of spilled open. I was in her office in tears telling her what was happening in my life and how I planned to withdraw and she was really nice and tried to convince me not to. She told me that giving up is not what that family member would have wanted. I still decided I wasn't stable enough to be in school so I tried to go through with the withdrawal. I told the dean of my college why I wanted to withdraw and she told me the death of a close family member is not a sufficient reason to withdraw from school. So I was forced to stay and continue to fail my classes.

The rest of my years I had to rebuild my grades and the value I lost for education. I was involved in an organization the next year that really helped me to get through a lot of struggles in my life because of writing. I had something I loved to do and I could measure the impact of my work. The organization also taught me a lot about myself, and business and it was one of the greatest experiences in college. So I eventually I begin to heal from what happened. One thing I realize about depression is that it really makes you avoid contact with people. Especially those that love you. I have to admit for a little while I avoided God. After so long battling with depression and I had grew tired and really wanted to heal. Around my third year I sought a real relationship with God. I wanted to get better. I watched church on tv, I read the bible, I read books. I changed my eating habits. I changed myself. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I stopped being the victim of my circumstances.

After years of giving up I was on my way to feeling better. It took me 5.5 years to graduate from college and after all I went through I truly believe God didn't want me to leave that university until I had learned what I needed to learn from being there. I think until then I wasn't allowed to move on to the next phase of my life. I am a lot healthier emotionally and I am thankful for my troubles because of what it has allowed me to learn through them.

Best,

R.J. 

Personal Growth and Hope

It's a difficult thing to understand yourself. At least for me it is. I go through phases and moods. I learn quick and I readjust quicker. I'm quiet at times and can be friendly at others. I'm observant and empathetic also cold and encouraging, sometimes distant but overall happy.

 The journey to understand yourself is a difficult one and maybe even impossible. But I pride myself in my effort to seek growth. I hope that by being transparent and honest with myself I can grow. I don't want to be cold, I don't want to stutter sometimes, I'm constantly trying to readjust myself because I love myself, and I see so much room for more. I post quotes and blog about inspiration because most of my life I did not share who I was out of fear of not being in agreement with others. That is no way to live. 

I am starting to share the things that I want for myself so that they become real. I am not afraid to be openly passionate about the things I love. I hope that everyone can find what they love. I hope you divulge in as many things as possible until you find the thing or things that give you purpose. I hope you get to know yourself. I know this is somewhat of a rant but whatever lol 

Grow and enjoy your effing life.  

InstaFamous

How much does a "like" weigh on self image? I would say in our "Selfie" culture, it weighs heavily. Likes provide instant gratification and validation for a lot of individuals. Our society has begun to equate beauty with self worth. The more beautiful you are, the more likes you get, the more followers you reach, the more valid your opinion. The new celebs are instagram beauties and we have elected them. Don't get me wrong, I follow my fair share of beauty gurus and models and there is nothing wrong with admiring someone else's beauty.  The problem comes when I see comments under others picture like "I thought I was beautiful until I saw your picture" or "I wish I looked like you". Those examples are the epitome of negative internalization of beauty. They are not flattering comments but are heavy especially for someone whom did not warrant your self negativity. We must remember that likes cannot begin to display how smart, funny and caring you or anyone else is nor can likes reveal how malicious, ungrateful or mean someone might be. Celebrate your beauty without checking your likes. We must remember that physical beauty is face value and just the tip of the iceberg of the soul that it encompasses.

FEAR

Fear is a feeling we all often get but rarely admit to. Today fear overcame me. I had a million thoughts pummel my mind while at my internship and I was reminded what true fear felt like. Just thinking about my career path, my relationships with people, just overall change... I was terrified. I honestly don't remember my last couple hours at work. I was scared and I felt guilty about it. I am an optimist, a vocalized optimist. I believe in faith, good vibes and blessings. Should I even be afraid? Every problem in my life has always worked itself out, sometimes in my favor and when it has not worked in my favor, I have gained much more than what I thought I needed at that time. So I come back to the things that worry me... I like many people have had a vision for their life. Well what happens when that vision becomes distant? Should I trade it for a more obtainable, easily reachable reality or do I dare go after the things I see for my myself, the desires I've had for so long?

I needed that dosage of fear today so that it would push me. Everybody needs fuel. Fear is my fuel, I had become complacent. I think when we are about to settle into something that is not fit for us, We are shaken up so that we remember to do better because our happiness depends on it.

It's Never Too Late

After I sat and worried because I knew that whatever decision I soon had to make, would determine so much in my life I made the decision to no matter what opportunity I get, that I should still go after whatever the hell I want as I long as I think its best for me. Nobody is better off if I don't go after what Is best for me. I don't want mediocrity and I don't want anyone else I know or anyone who reads this post to want it either. Go after something, get let down and try again. That's what I plan on doing until I get it right. You can be smart about it, make money while working on the bigger picture. Remember that its just a stepping stone. Trust god or whom or whatever you believe in so that you can be guided into the most fullfilled life that you could possibly live. 

Art Institute of Chicago

     I went to the art institute of Chicago recently and saw some great artwork. I don't think I've been there for 10+ years haha but it was so nice. Here are some of the pieces I really liked. 

Learning to Love Yourself

People, especially women feel pressure to look perfect because we see other people being worshipped for being beautiful. If it's not the American standard of beauty (most people can't even live up to) it's social media telling us what we should look like. Society places looking good at a higher level of importance than feeling good. Working on how you feel about yourself can change how you externally view yourself. When I lost weight last summer, I wore a single digit for the first time in a very long time but I was still buying double digit clothing. I had a hard time accepting my new size and mentally I was still overweight. I worked on my body but I didn't work on my mind so when one changed the other did not follow. I had to literally tell myself I was beautiful and I said it until I believed it. I even wrote down all the positives attributes I liked about myself. I redirected my thoughts to focus on the positive qualities and building my thoughts around them. I'm in a much better place because I worked on how I felt. Here are a few foundation pieces that helped me view myself more positively and might help you out as well...

1. Know that you are beautiful right now: If you don't see the good qualities in yourself now, even when you lose weight or get a new hairstyle you might still be able to waiver in your confidence.  Tell yourself you're beautiful, write down all the things you think make you proud of yourself, like being caring, loving, considerate, having a cute nose or whatever you like about yourself focus on those. Do not be afraid to like yourself, you have that right.

2. Know that you are deserving of good things

Telling yourself you deserve good things is a huge affirmation. When you say you're deserving of something you believe you have a right to it. I learned this from a friend who would say it all the time in highschool. At first I would look at them a little strangely but I know how positive saying something like that is. You have to believe You deserve to be happy and to be positive about yourself and like the way I look and feel. You help no one by acting timid or not knowing how to take a compliment. Be proud of your person and know just because you exist, you deserve good things and have a right to go and get them. 

3. Know that you do not need anyone else's permission to feel good about yourself. 

Do not put your confidence in the hands of another person, not in your significant other, not in your instagram followers, you must control your confidence. Be your own confirmation. If you feel beautiful, challenge yourself not to put a picture on social media. Yes sharing is fine but don't depend on likes or comments to boost your confidence. Be beautiful and let that be Independent of anything else. Whether you go through a break up or are just having an insecure moment, keep confidence in yourself. Having confidence is an important tool that helps you to grow in life. 

When you know yourself you are empowered. When you accept yourself you are invincible. - Lifford

3 Tips to Help Build Self Esteem.

Tip1:
I remember when I first got on Tumblr, I would scroll through pages of gorgeous women and think "I wish my nose looked liked that or I love her hair texture, why can't mine look like that?" I was comparing myself to people I would never look like on a constant basis. After a while of doing this, my negative thoughts started to consume me and I was tired. Recognizing that these women were not the problem nor was tumblr, I knew the cause stemmed from me. I started working on pushing excessive negative thoughts about myself from my mind by making my self conscious of the negative thoughts that would creep into my mind so that I can stop them. Slowly but surely, I was able to gain better control of my thought process. Helping me to become more positive or at least stay neutral.

Tip 2:
Another importans step was to stop comparing myself to other people. The only person anyone should compare themselves to is themselves . There is nothing wrong with being inspired by others but admiring someone does not involve envy, self doubt, or comparison. Admiration is just appreciation of another. You should not see all the good in others and put yourself down. Not to mention with all the people you see that you think are beautiful, I'm sure not all of them look the same and if you can admire the differences in them, you should be able to do the same for yourself. The more positively one views diversity in others, the more positively they see themselves.

Tip 3:
 One thing that also plagued myself and others is the constant need of approval or compliments from other people. One of my favorites quotes is " If you live off a man's compliments, then you will die from his criticism." With the invention of the like button or the reblog, and the retweet buttons, people are living their lives to gain approval from others. If you don't take a pic of how nice you look one day, you still looked nice that day. Ask yourself why do you need to have everyone's approval. Then try to fulfill that through your self. We all use social networking and it's nice that people agree but think more so in terms of just sharing and you'll stop waiting by your phone for those Instagram notifications.

My Journey through Happiness

Like many other people, I have struggled with my weight. Struggling with my weight led to many other insecurities in my life such as with my height, looks and etc... I have gone through trials and tribulations with juggling diets and challenges and gaining weight back. I've lost tons of weight before but it hasn't been until recently that I have realized that my mental state truly effects how I feel about myself and others which tied in to my continuous weight issues. My negative attitude toward myself transcended into every aspect of my life, from school to relationships I had with every person in my life. Last summer, I dated someone that did not treat me well and after that was done, It dawned on me that I needed to reevaluate myself and find out why I would accept such horrible treatment when I very well would tell my friends and others you can do better, you deserve better and anything positive and uplifting. Truth was, I did not like myself. I thought I was not pretty and I was undeserving of being treated well so I accepted the bare minimum from someone. I began to look at myself objectively and ask what would make me feel better about myself? Like would I feel better if I lost weight? or changed my hair? I started to focus my energy on positive things as well as develop my will power. I needed will power to stay on my fitness path and also to remember to never go back to this loser. I told myself I'm going to make him beg me to come back and when he does I'll be strong enough to say no.

Before I knew it, my summer was over and I was back in school. I could no longer fit my clothing, everything was too big. I went shopping and discovered that I dropped 4 pant sizes. I also resurfaced on the social networking scene and sure enough that person I wanted to make regret losing me, did. But even after that I realized that was not truly fulfilling because self satisfaction can not come from anyone other than yourself. I still was not happy so I begin to strip myself of all the things I think I needed to help me feel beautiful. One of my biggest weaknesses was hair. Yes, I was a slave to my weave, don't get me wrong weave isn't bad but it was my attitude about myself that made it a crutch. So I took it out. I had been wearing my hair in a sew in for at least 4 years. I had no clue what to do with my real hair and more importantly I didn't want people to think I was less beautiful without it but I challenged myself.

I had unknowingly developed this weird little habit of daring myself to do things so that I can push myself beyond my comfort zone. The extensions were out and I thought it was only temporary but I began to slowly like the freedom of not worrying if I would be exposed by the wind or frying the health out of my hair. So I began to take care of my mane. I cut about 4 inches off in heat damage last December. I started to feel happier and more comfortable with myself.

All the while I was doing these things, I had also began to make an effort to delve deeper in my spirituality. Soon enough I was building a wiser and stronger connection with God. These elements in my life has lead me to a journey of being a stronger person with a better outlook on myself and other people. I know that these changes have helped me to be more positive and attract more positive things in to my life and be able to know that I am worthy and deserving of good things. Although, I have realized that there is no certain end date to my journey, I am truly enjoying the ride. I hope to inspire and help others who wish to do the same.